CAPTAIN STOTTLEMEYER AND THE SICK DAY
by XFilesIBelieve
Summary: Very 1st Capt. Stottlemeyer fic! The Captain tries to get some rest on his sick day.


Author's Note: I don't own the cast of MONK or the television show although if I did I would use them to plan out my fabulous fanfiction ideas...BWAA HAHAHA HA!...I'm just kidding....maybe...  
  
CAPTAIN STOTTLEMEYER AND THE SICK DAY  
  
RINGGGG!!!  
  
Capt. Stottlemeyer leaned over and whacked the alarm clock with his palm. The movement caused him pain and he winced.  
  
He wiped the sleep out of his eyes. Threw back the covers. He sat up and suddenly felt a wave a nauseousness flow over him. He clutched his stomach. Took a deep breath. He realized he was shaking slightly and felt another wave hit him in the gut- this time in gale force and he quickly rushed to the bathroom.  
  
After he threw up he washed his face with cold water. Looked in the mirror. His eyes were bloodshot and his hair was in disarray. He clutched the edges of the sink and tried to calm his ragged breathing.  
  
He would make it to work, he had to.  
  
He rubbed his temples with both hands, discovering another symptom- a slight fever.  
  
He swallowed hard and reached into the medicine cabinet for his shaving cream.  
  
Feeling a flash of dizziness hit him, he steadied himself with a hand on the edge of the sink.  
  
"Leland?" He heard his wife Karen call him from inside the bedroom.  
  
"Yeah?" He mumbled after a few seconds, still breathing shakily. He pulled out his razor and bent his head to scoop some shaving cream into his hand.  
  
"You okay?" Karen called again wondering why there had been a delay in her husband's answer.  
  
He went to reply when he felt the dizziness sock him in the head like a bowling ball and his knees folded under him.  
  
"Leland?" Karen entered the bathroom and saw him slumped on the floor.  
  
"Oh my goodness! Leland!" She bent down to pull him up.  
  
Stottlemeyer started to come to, "I'm fiiine..." he slurred trying to resist Karen's grip.  
  
"I don't think so. You need to get back to bed RIGHT NOW," Karen's voice had a demanding tone of finality to it.  
  
"No, nooo I'll make it...." He protested still trying to wiggle out of her grip. He finally got free and tried to steady himself. He straightened up and unable to help himself, he fell backwards.  
  
Karen caught him just barely and started leading him to the bed.  
  
"This way Mister. I'll call the department and let them know you're not coming in," she said as she tucked him back under the covers.  
  
He tried to sit up to get back out of bed when Karen placed a firm hand on his chest and pushed him backwards.  
  
"You stay." She gave him a firm look that showed him she meant business.  
  
"But I gotta go-" he began.  
  
"No."  
  
"I can't-"  
  
"No."  
  
"At least let-"  
  
"NO." Karen picked up the cordless phone by the bed and dialed the station.  
  
Stottlemeyer groaned and rolled over on his side.  
  
"Hiii this is Karen Stottlemeyer calling in for my hubby, the Captain...." Karen said cheerfully over the phone.  
  
"Hubby??" The Captain cried hoarsely.  
  
"...mmhmm, well my Baby is feeling a little under the weather..."  
  
"Baby?!" The Captain buried his face in the pillows.  
  
Karen ignored him, "Uh huh, that's right. He's got a bit of a tummy ache..."  
  
"TUMMY ACHE?!" Stottlemeyer moaned in embarrassment, "Karen, just hang up the phone...NOW."  
  
Karen waved him away with a hand. "Oh I'll be sure he gets plenty of rest...uh huh...chicken soup, right..."  
  
"Karen, hang it up."  
  
"Oh yes of course, Flintstone vitamins-his favorite." She smiled.  
  
Stottlemeyer paused for a moment.  
  
"That's it," he said and made a leap for the phone.  
  
But Karen was just hanging it up.  
  
She gave him a look, "WHAT is your problem?"  
  
He opened his mouth to answer her when he felt a sneeze coming on.  
  
"You...ah...ahh..were...ahh...ahhchoo!" He sneezed violently.  
  
"Bless you," she replied, "Want some tissues?"  
  
"No...I doon beed any..." His voice came out funny, "I'm...ahhcHOOO!!!!" He wiped his nose with his hand and started to get up.  
  
"You dooon beeed any?" Karen said mocking him. He glared at her. "Hey! What do you think you're doing? You're not going anywhere." Karen pushed him down by his chest again.  
  
He flopped down on the bed, his face stormy, "I was going to get some bissues."  
  
"Ohh ..now you need the BISSUES. Well wait here and I'll get some." Karen stood up and walked to the bathroom.  
  
"Oh there's none up-"  
  
"AHCHHOO!!" She was interrupted by another sneeze of thunder coming from Leland.  
  
"Bless you, I'll go check downstairs."  
  
Stottlemeyer nodded, afraid to speak for fear he would sneeze again.  
  
He laid his head back against the lush pillow and tried to get comfortable.  
  
"I'm going to stay home today instead of filming that documentary on public education," Karen called from downstairs.  
  
Stottlemeyer groaned. He didn't need his wife babysitting him. In fact if she only WOULD go filming he could sneak out and go to work...  
  
"...and to make sure you don't try to go to work," Karen finished.  
  
How did she read his mind like that? He wondered with frustration.  
  
Sighing, he slowly rolled over on his side, the slight movement seeming entirely exhausting.  
  
Suddenly...  
  
"DADDY!!" shrieked a small six year-old voice. His son Max ran in screaming and jumped on the bed.  
  
"Ooof!" Stottlemeyer clutched his stomach.  
  
"Hi...Dad-dy!!" Max's voice was punctuated by his jumping on the bed.  
  
"Oh...stop...STOP..." Stottlemeyer moaned weakly, "For the love of all that is HOLY!!!"  
  
Max grinned and leaned over him, "Why you still sleepin'?" he asked loudly in his father's ear.  
  
"Go..avvay..." Stottlemeyer spoke through a mouthful of pillow.  
  
"I need to eat and pack my lunch and..."Max began chatting away.  
  
He had started jumping on the bed again when Karen finally walked in.  
  
"Sorry it took me forever to find some-"Karen looked up and saw Max flying through the air, running his mouth a mile a minute while his poor dad flopped over, his face green.  
  
"Maxwell Darrin Stottlemeyer!" She yelled, "Get off of there now!"  
  
Stottlemeyer cringed, "No yelling...pleeease," he said meekly.  
  
Karen missed his request and picked up Max and carried him out.  
  
"Be back in a minute, Honey," she said from down the hall, "I'm going to put him on the bus."  
  
Stottlemeyer felt like pulling his thin blonde hair out.  
  
Karen had left some aspirin by the bedside and he shoved a few down his scratchy throat downing it with a glass of water. He really was dying for a cup of coffee though.  
  
Karen returned a few minutes later carrying a jar in her hand. She surveyed her poor bed-ridden husband. He really did look terrible. His hair was tousled which was rather cute actually. There were dark areas under his eyes and his skin was pale, even for him. His white t-shirt was rumpled. He looked up at her with miserably sad ice-blue eyes.  
  
She realized suddenly how sexy it was to see her usually strong and in- charge husband off his feet and basically helpless.  
  
She looked at the jar in her hand and grinned wickedly.  
  
Leland looked at her with slight interest, shifting his position on the bed, "What?"  
  
Karen strutted over, hiding the jar behind her back.  
  
"What?" He repeated, "What do you have behind you?"  
  
"Take off your shirt," she ordered.  
  
Stottlemeyer blinked. What was she up to?  
  
"Why?" he asked looking uncomfortable.  
  
"Just do it...I'm going to put this on your chest," she said holding the jar up. It was VaporRub.  
  
"It'll clear up all your passages," she assured him and crawled on the bed next to him.  
  
"Oh!..okay..." Stottlemeyer replied slightly dissappointed by the nature of her request. He wondered about that...he was sick for goodness sake (though he still wouldn't admit that to his wife) so why would he be in the mood...  
  
He struggled to sit up and pull his shirt over his head. His arms felt like weights and he could barely raise them.  
  
"Here let me," Karen took over and lifted his shirt off. She was always impressed that even though Leland was older, he still tried to keep in shape as he did when he was a young officer. His chest was muscular and he still kept it hair-free. She loved that.  
  
She put his shirt aside and began opening the VaporRub.  
  
She felt Leland's eyes on her, watching her every move. She felt a shiver go through her. Well that was strange. She looked up at him and he didn't look away to deny he was staring.  
  
"What?" She asked softly.  
  
"Hmm?" He gazed at her.  
  
She finally got the jar open and took some of the cold rub in her hands. She leaned over him.  
  
"Don't jump, it's really cold." She warned him and gently placed her hand on his upper chest.  
  
He sucked in, "Ohh...you're right."  
  
"Sorry," she said lightly rubbing his chest.  
  
He smiled, in that incredibly sexy way where his bright eyes crinkled.  
  
"That's nice," he murmured softly, closing his eyes.  
  
Karen added more rub and spread it over his abs and stomach and arms...knowing that the rub was no good for these areas but just wanting to touch his firm body.  
  
Leland opened his eyes, the striking blue piercing her.  
  
"Why are you..." he trailed off as he looked up at his wife. She had a look in her eyes. One of devilishness mixed with desire and longing.  
  
She swallowed watching his eyes search hers. Oh, how she wanted him, sick or not, she wanted her husband. Thoughts ran through Stottlemeyer's head. His wife never looked more beautiful. The sunlight pouring in illuminated her porcelain skin. He put a strong hand on her shoulder and pulled her down.  
  
"C'mere," he said, his voice low and husky.  
  
She lay on his shimmering chest, the strong scent of menthol invading her senses.  
  
With both hands, he lifted her head off his chest and brought her lips to meet his.  
  
She kissed him hungrily and he felt her smooth tongue exploring his mouth. His whole body seemed to grow warmer.  
  
He kissed her back feeling his immune system re-charged. He ran his hands through her strawberry blonde curls and began kissing her neck.  
  
"I love you Karen," he muttered.  
  
"Mmm...I love you too Leland," she replied dizzily.  
  
He broke away for a moment and looked into her feisty eyes.  
  
"Remind me to get sick more often..."  
  
"Oh..so now you admit it," she replied playfully, running her hands through his soft hair.  
  
"Mm hmm...just don't let it get around..." he trailed off to meet her lips again.  
  
THE END 


End file.
